jaunesk.com » Joke

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

jaunesk — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:10:35 +0000

A friend send me this and see whether anyone can compete with this perfect husband :)

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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: ‘Hello’

WOMAN: ‘Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?’

MAN: ‘Yes’

WOMAN: ‘I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s�� only RM1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?’

MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.’

WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.’

MAN: ‘How much?’

WOMAN: ‘RM390,000′

MAN: ‘OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.’

WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing…the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking� RM2,950,000′ for it.

MAN: ‘Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of RM2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra R150,000 if it’s really� a pretty good price.’

WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!’

MAN: ‘Bye! I love you, too.’

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in� astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: ‘Anyone know who this phone belongs to?’

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Have a nice day…

Women behind men

jaunesk — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 13:25:19 +0000

WOMEN BEHIND MEN ( Humor )

A reporter who did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict noted then that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.

She approached one of the Afghan women and asked:

“Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?”

The woman looked her in the eyes and without hesitation,

said: ” Landmines ! “

“The Husband will get it first”

Moral of the story : Behind every man is a damn smart woman !

When Grandma goes to court

jaunesk — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:03:42 +0000

Looking through some of my old email and found this joke sent by a friend. Have a nice day and looking forward to weekend eventhough now is only half of the week. As usual unedited, and if you know the source, let me know. And if you have any joke or any thing wanted to share, email to me.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘ Why ye s, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’