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Appreciative Learning

Posted by jaunesk | Posted in Knowledge & Kids | Posted on 21-07-2009

Tags: children life, Knowledge & Kids, Life, parents, Success

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“When you want to encourage a greater sense of responsibility in others (and yourself), emphasize the anticipation of accomplishment, not the penalties for failure.” Roger Crawford

My eldest son, Sean get in my car after I pick him up from school and tell me, “Dad, I got Top in my class for my English test.” this is the second time, he score the highest marks for his English test in class. He is determined, why, as Sean has set a goal to attend an international School after he finishes his primary. His mum and I told him that in order for him to enter this school,he need to be very strong in his English.

Sean is a smart boy and since we seldom pressure him for his school work, he take it easy but we knew if he put his mind to it, he can do it as in every one else. He seldom get scolded for failing his test, non of his brother or sister ever also. As Sean had set a goal for himself, he has put his sight onto achieving his goal. We had told him that excel in English alone is not good enough for him to get into the International School, he also need to be good in other subject too.

With a little encouragement and appreciation of his test even when he fail, with a tiny bit of warning if fail too often when he play too much, he knew what he need to do on the next test i.e. improve on the score. As the quote say it all on the beginning of this blog.

“When you want to encourage a greater sense of responsibility in others (and yourself), emphasize the anticipation of accomplishment, not the penalties for failure.” Roger Crawford

Sean wanted to model his elder sister who score 7A in her UPSR exam and receive many praises and envy. His sister Victoria is now in a Chinese medium School, a very small school with less than 200 students in the whole school and her class 23 students. Many of our friends and relatives are saying that we are taking a risk for sending a top grade student to an seemingly under performed school. Well, the main reason we send her to this school is that this school is a pilot school in our state to practices “Appreciative Learning.” where the teachers will look for good behaviors and conducts and praise the student for it even though they make mistakes. We can see the vast improvement in both our children conducts and behaviors, they are more assertive and enthu Sean Pet. siastic about helping up in daily choir and housework.

I once heard and read about a news in Singapore that some parents are send their children to tuition school, nothing wrong about that, but when the child is only 1-3 years old, that’s something you need to ponder. Why kill their childhood for they never get it back again.

Create a good memory for them to cherish when they grow up.

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Bring Out The Best In Others.

Posted by jaunesk | Posted in Story | Posted on 04-10-2008

Tags: life. story, Success

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A friend of mine send me this email, it was a very touching story and I have no doubt about the powerful message in it. Many years ago, I did a training and using the principle behind this though I have not read this article yet. The training a gave was title “Bring Out The Best in You.” It was given to JCI members when I was the National Vice President of teh national body. many years later, some members came to me sharing that it was the training that motivated them to go higher level in the wonderful young leadership training organization.

I have converted the training into an ebook with the same title 4 months ago but still wanted to refined it, this LooK for The Good message can be found in chapter 3: Do I really Know MySelf Well?.

If you download the ebook, I appreciate if you can email me your comment so that I can improve it.

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One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. ‘Really?’ she heard whispered. ‘I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!’ and, ‘I didn’t know others liked me so much,’ were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in VietNam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin..

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. ‘Were you Mark’s math teacher?’ he asked. ! She nodded: ‘yes.’ Then he said: ‘Mark talked about you a lot.’

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmate! s went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

‘We want to show you something,’ his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket ‘They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.’

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.

‘Thank you so much for doing that,’ Mark’s mother said. ‘As you can see, Mark treasured it.’

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, ‘I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.’

Chuck’s wife said, ‘Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.’

‘I have mine too,’ Marilyn said. ‘It’s in my diary’

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. ‘I carry this with me at all times,’ Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: ‘I think we all saved our lists’

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And One Way To Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful. But it’s up to U to fwd this one. !

If you’ve received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you ! care.

If you’re ‘too busy’ to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn’t do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships?

The more people that you send this to, the better you’ll be at reaching out to those you care about.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

May Your Day Be Blessed And As Special As You

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