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文章标签 ‘parents’

Appreciative Learning

2009年7月21日

“When you want to encourage a greater sense of responsibility in others (and yourself), emphasize the anticipation of accomplishment, not the penalties for failure.” Roger Crawford

My eldest son, Sean get in my car after I pick him up from school and tell me, “Dad, I got Top in my class for my English test.” this is the second time, he score the highest marks for his English test in class. He is determined, why, as Sean has set a goal to attend an international School after he finishes his primary. His mum and I told him that in order for him to enter this school,he need to be very strong in his English.

Sean is a smart boy and since we seldom pressure him for his school work, he take it easy but we knew if he put his mind to it, he can do it as in every one else. He seldom get scolded for failing his test, non of his brother or sister ever also. As Sean had set a goal for himself, he has put his sight onto achieving his goal. We had told him that excel in English alone is not good enough for him to get into the International School, he also need to be good in other subject too.

With a little encouragement and appreciation of his test even when he fail, with a tiny bit of warning if fail too often when he play too much, he knew what he need to do on the next test i.e. improve on the score. As the quote say it all on the beginning of this blog.

“When you want to encourage a greater sense of responsibility in others (and yourself), emphasize the anticipation of accomplishment, not the penalties for failure.” Roger Crawford

Sean wanted to model his elder sister who score 7A in her UPSR exam and receive many praises and envy. His sister Victoria is now in a Chinese medium School, a very small school with less than 200 students in the whole school and her class 23 students. Many of our friends and relatives are saying that we are taking a risk for sending a top grade student to an seemingly under performed school. Well, the main reason we send her to this school is that this school is a pilot school in our state to practices “Appreciative Learning.” where the teachers will look for good behaviors and conducts and praise the student for it even though they make mistakes. We can see the vast improvement in both our children conducts and behaviors, they are more assertive and enthuSean  Pet.siastic about helping up in daily choir and housework.

I once heard and read about a news in Singapore that some parents are send their children to tuition school, nothing wrong about that, but when the child is only 1-3 years old, that’s something you need to ponder. Why kill their childhood for they never get it back again.

Create a good memory for them to cherish when they grow up.

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Take Good Care of Your Parents

2008年9月1日

A note from a friend to say that This is worth reading…

A simple man tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his first flight, brought emotions
and made him realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact,
my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the
same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Lufthansa.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air.
The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was
preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his
luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these
things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that
this meant a great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.

But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.

As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial
situation, we ask for football, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have satisfied to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes?

Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?

Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc.. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see
us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see
when they were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life
is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without
patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments.

Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same
attention and same care need to be given to our parents and elders.

Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best
possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of your parents .

Pls pass on this mail to every child who loves parents and want to love them more & parents who are
just starting to raise their children…. ..

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