“Sometimes in our attempt to give children what we did not have, we forget to give our children what we did have.” Connie Podesta

What do our children want?

Have you ever heard your friends or relatives saying this, “When I was young, my parents could not afford to give me the toys that I wanted; now that I am able to, I will give whatever my children wanted. I do not want them to have the fate as mine.”

So you might have heard this before, or are you guilty of being one of these people. Often as parents, we gave in too easily to our children demand and inadvertently we have taught them to succumb to peer pressure.

About a week ago, a friend of mine called me to have an afternoon tea, and we went for a cafe near a Cellphone service provider as there was a promotion for the latest 3G Plus IPhone. Subscribing to their phone package will entitle the subscriber to  buy the IPhone at at reduced price.

While y friend was admiring he iPhone features, I was talking to the promoter about the usage and charges, I have to admit, I am too melancholy at times. Personally, I did not see any attractiveness of the package except for a discount on the phone, more over, the broadband limit that they provided will only last my surfing for at the most a week. After which, it will be pay per usage and I knew from some of my friends who subscribed to such package were paying through the nose when they were not careful and use over the limit.

What  really surprised me was the conversation I had with my friend after I spoke to the promoter. I turn to him and he show me the features and I can sense that he really enjoy touching or shall I said fondling with the touch screen function and playing with the buill in game. He then said to me, “So smooth, no wonder my daughter loves it and pestering me to buy for her.”

I was a little astounded and thought I was hearing wrongly and asked,” Are you saying you are going to buy this for your daughter to play games? Why don’t you give her Gameboy or PlayStation2?”

“Oh, she got all that and she get fade-up with them. Saw her schoolmates have this, so wanted one too.” my friend said.

BTW, my friend’s daughter is only six years old.

Need I say more, are we all guilty for caring our childrn for the worng reason.

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…

“When you want to encourage a greater sense of responsibility in others (and yourself), emphasize the anticipation of accomplishment, not the penalties for failure.”    Roger Crawford

My eldest son,  Sean get in my car after I pick him up from school and tell me, “Dad, I got Top in my class for my English test.” this is the second time, he score the highest marks for his English test in class. He is determined, why, as Sean has set a goal to attend an international School after he finishes his primary. His mum and I told him that in order for him to enter this school,he need to be very strong in his English.

Sean is a smart boy and since we seldom pressure him for his school work, he take it easy but we knew if he put his mind to it, he can do it as in every one else. He seldom get scolded for failing his test, non of his brother or sister ever also. As Sean had set a goal for himself, he has put his sight onto achieving his goal. We had told him that excel in English alone is not good enough for him to get into the International School, he also need to be good in other subject too.

With a little encouragement and appreciation of his test even when he fail, with a tiny bit of warning if fail too often when he play too much, he knew what he need to do on the next test i.e. improve on the score.  As the quote say it all on the beginning of this blog.

“When you want to encourage a greater sense of responsibility in others (and yourself), emphasize the anticipation of accomplishment, not the penalties for failure.”    Roger Crawford

Sean wanted to model his elder sister who score 7A in her UPSR exam and receive many praises and envy. His sister Victoria is now in a Chinese medium School, a very small school with less than 200 students in the whole school and her class 23 students. Many of our friends and relatives are saying that we are taking a risk for sending a top grade student to an seemingly under performed school. Well, the main reason we send her to this school is that this school is a pilot school in our state to practices “Appreciative Learning.” where the teachers will look for good behaviors and conducts and praise the student for it even though they make mistakes. We can see the vast improvement in both our children conducts and behaviors, they are more assertive and enthusiastic about helping up in daily choir and housework.

I once heard and read about a news in Singapore that some parents are send their children to tuition school, nothing wrong about that, but when the child is only 1-3 years old, that’s  something you need to ponder. Why kill their childhood for they never get it  back again.

Create a good memory for them to cherish when they grow up.

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…

When I received this email from a friend before I open the whole mail, I thought he was joking. When I read the content, I wish I could just give the $25 dollar back and have more time of my own. That is one one teh reason I am building my online business and providing my services. If you have sometime, visit my latest Blog “Small in Operation, Big in Profit.” and leave your comment there, you have just received some quality link back.

I am not asking you to lend me $25 but I believe after reading this post, you will wish you can give the $25 away!

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A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I please borrow $25?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to

have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

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